Indifference is a strange emotion. One side of indifference takes you towards obedience, the other side of the spectrum takes you to abandonment. You know on The Biggest Loser, during “weighs ins”, how the scale teeters back and forth above and below the target weight loss needed for the team to win that week’s challenge, that’s how we are on the Indifference spectrum right now. Some days we hold true to the promise that we are cherished and beloved; we are looking towards obedience. And other days, we blankly stare down the pipe, alone, looking towards abandonment. The line is crossed without even knowing that you have turned your back on God. We have all felt abandoned. Take ZG for example, she was literally abandoned. She still reels from the effects of being left alone when she was eleven days old. Just yesterday she woke up from her afternoon nap and we weren’t there. Tears poured like a broken tap as she tried to catch her breath. She was alone; thinking to herself that she had lost everything. Carla scooped her up and she got herself together in a few seconds. When we feel abandoned, being rescued feels so good. Receiving comfort during our times of abandonment quickly takes us away from the mindset of Indifference. Why then do we digress back towards the darkness of feeling alone? Because we want to feel the comfort of being rescued!
Blessings have been abundant over the last month. We have avoided sickness and physical danger. We have been united with our daughter. We have even been befriended and loved by everyone that the Lord has put in our path. Even still, today we feel abandoned. The only thing I can tell myself is to hold my position and refuse to slip any deeper into apathy. Savoring to be rescued, we must patiently wait to receive our passport and Visa.
Our originally scheduled flight leaves at 10:30pm on Monday October 29th, 2012. If we receive ZG’s Visa by the close of business on Monday, we will be on that flight and back home in time to Trick or Treat with Uncle Heath! If we don’t make the flight we will come back to the B&B as a family and enjoy the love that we have for each other. Who knows, we might even eat a chicken wrap too!
To my friends and prayer warriors, please pray that we remain obedient and trusting in God’s Plan. The truth is that is our only prayer. We still have to pray for the biological parents to be available and for the Embassy to be in acceptance of ZG’s application. Pray us home!
After rereading the last post, I realized that I was unclear about how the process has to go before we have travel approval. Allow me to explain.
Since we have made our application for ZG’s passport and been formally interviewed by the Ministry of Internal Affairs, we have opened a case with the US Embassy for ZG’s Visa. During the visit to the Embassy we were told that her Birth Certificate was invalid because the date of birth did not match the court documents. The last component of the Visa application is the passport. We do not have the passport. Our facilitator has been to the passport office every day since last Thursday on our behalf. I just received a text informing us that today was a no as well. The Birth Certificate was corrected and delivered to us yesterday. CELEBRATE THE SMALL THINGS! So, once we get a passport, we will be issued an appointment for an interview with the US Embassy. The biological parents will be required for this interview. If the Visa is approved, it will be 2-3 business days before we can travel. Then we travel one hour to the airport in Entebbe and sit on our bums for twenty four hours while we travel 9,000 miles to Sexton Bend Road with ZG to show her her forever home!
Literally, we did nothing besides Eat, Sleep, and Poop. That goes for all three of us!
Take Me To Ranchers Please
With tunnel vision for the prospect of a passport, we took our minds off everything for a while and hired Twaha to drive us to the Garden City Mall. Last time we went there, and I had steak. I wanted seconds! We ordered a fillet with gravy and a sirloin as big as a football. Add in the salad bar, some mashed potatoes and two sodas and you have a feast! The best part was the bill, 23 Bucks!
The last time we visited the mall I noticed they had a bowling alley. As we were making our way to the ALLEYGATORS BOWLING ALLEY, I stopped by and got ZG and I a cup of ice cream. When we got to the bowling alley we were disappointed to find it closed on Mondays. No worries, we went to Uchimi, a grocery store, and picked up a few things we were lacking. In addition to the necessities, Carla reminded me that the staff that the B&B wanted to carve a Jack-O-Lantern. We picked out the biggest green pumpkin they had and checked out. Twaha was waiting for us and he brought us back to the B&B. While we were out with Twaha, we stopped by the Uganda Post Office to check on a package that Carla’s parents had sent to us with some cooler clothes and gas drops for ZG. The desk attendant told us that it was out for delivery! When we got back to the B&B the package was waiting on us. Mommy wanted to play dress us and settled on a pink short legged onesy for the pumpkin carving. The staff couldn’t believe that we were wasting food for the sake of a silly ritual. As an olive leaf, I saved the seeds to dry out and roast in the oven. After we finished and took photos, we sat the glowing face on the stand by the entrance to the bistro. Sitting on the porch watching the reactions of the patrons was priceless. Most people took a double take, and then smiled shaking their heads. One of the staff had a blast and even tweeted “enjoyed Carla Halloweening”.
Earlier in the day, a couple from Chicago arrived at the B&B. They are adopting a little boy who is eighteen months old and are here with their eight month old baby girl. By the way, they left their other FOUR children at home! The husband is a Baptist pastor and is great to talk to. I didn’t realize how much I missed Americans. It’s like I’m flirting with him all the time. I can’t wait to be around him. I wonder what he’s doing when he’s not around. I even asked him to walk with me to the store today. Our hands did touch once as we crossed the street. Are we dating?! Gosh, I hope I didn’t come on too strong.
A great night’s sleep allowed us to sleep in until 7:30am! Thanks for the prayers.
Milestone Day for ZG
Our appetites have been down since we gorged ourselves at the Rancher yesterday. Even ZG ate lightly for breakfast and lunch today.
Starting early ZG was acting weird. I think it was because the other kids are cramping her style as the token cute kid at the B&B. In related news, ZG is not getting a smiling face today for working well with others. She is extremely jealous of the other kids being on her playground! She even hit the baby today. Mommy was hard on herself for giving ZG her first spanking and put her in some semblance of “time-out” in our bedroom. We’re not sure what ZG’s deal was today. She took one two-hour nap this morning after only being awake for 2 hours and then another 45 minute nap this afternoon after sleeping great last night. Maybe she just wore herself out over the last twenty four hours…?
But, besides getting her first spanking and “time-out”, she caused the whole place to think that daddy was having a heart attack this afternoon. Every afternoon we go looking for the kitty cat. She loves calling for the kitty and pulls its tail and ears for ten minutes until it becomes mundane. I carried ZG up to the B&B’s rooftop and we sat in two chairs and played for a bit. I soon realized that the chairs would be great for her to practice standing and working her legs. After I balanced her a few times and placed her left leg just right for her as we practiced, it came time to let her try it on her own. After about three minutes of wanting to pull up, it finally happened! She reached up and grabbed the back of the chair, positioned her legs just right, and pulled with all her might. I screamed with pride and ZG turned around and started clapping. She pulled up two more times over the next ten minutes before giving out of energy. Major milestone for ZG today. It won’t be long before she is walking!
ZG is down for the night in our bed; or what used to be our bed. She owns the night!
Trying to Beat Indifference,
Two Teetering Parents